Presence

​This morning I spent an hour and a 1/2 walking with Bill step-by-step through the tasks required to get fully undressed and into a shower while I washed his clothing. This once probably mindless kind of task, the thing that we would do every single morning without any thought at all, was literally a step-by-step process.


Take off your watch. Yes put it there. If we both know where you put it then we'll know where to find it later.


Take off your belt. Yes your belt holds your pants up but we need to take your pants off to put them in the laundry.


Step-by-step.


I realize, too, that my own broken foot gives me a little bit more of an understanding of how challenging something that is seemingly simple can be. (Laugh) When, when we were done and I had made Bill a sandwich and a fresh cup of coffee and he came into the kitchen he said, “Phew! Well that was something!” (More laughter)


And I kind of understood. Because sometimes when I do a task right now, that in another moment would have taken very little time and little effort or thought, I do have to think it through step-by-step, and figure out how to accomplish it. And it is more actual work ....


So this Sunday morning when often I would take time in the morning and sit in a more quiet meditation by myself, was spent in a different kind of what really did feel like a spiritual practice that reminded me ....that connection is personal. That it's not enough to just simply say “take a shower,” but to accompany him to do that. And it felt gracious and even holy to be part of that this morning. And humbling. So humbling ....


All of us will reach a time in our lives, even if it's only a moment, when everything shifts. For me it shifted when I came here to support Bill and it shifted again when I broke my foot .... .... But I am even grateful for this reminder this morning, that presence isn't simply about presence in this house, but presence to the needs of the other in the moment. We are called to presence. And while yes, presence with my personal spiritual practice is important, presence with Bill was more important this morning .... .... ​

#dementia #presence