Ache

​People often ask why someone would use drugs knowing the risk of the tainted drug supply.

​I don't have an answer for that. But in this moment I have a bit of an understanding, perhaps. I'm feeling the ache of my own body in this time of isolation, this deep yearning that is almost an ache in my joints, in my bones, for human contact, for a skin-to-skin hug. To be able to smell the musk of another person. And if that opportunity arose for me right now would I take it even knowing the risks of how this virus spreads .... ?


We're in what they’re calling the 2nd wave of the pandemic right now when numbers are going up and our medical officers have said that the main cause of that is gatherings, celebrations mostly, weddings or funerals, Thanksgiving dinners. And someone looking on this time might wonder how it is that knowing the disease was out there people still gathered ....


And people gather because they long to be together. And they can tell themselves that it won’t be them, perhaps. Just like the addict doesn't know what may or may not be tainted in the drug supply. But their deep ache, their longing to not feel the pain .... Will make them take that risk. I think the deep ache and longing that people feel to be together right now even knowing that the gathering could be tainted that there could be a vector in the gathering. Because we don't know, we can't see it, we don't expect it ....


And maybe for me it's just as well that it's unlikely that the opportunity for such an intimate encounter will present itself, particularly when I'm here in isolation .... .... Because, as I say, if there was an opportunity for something to soothe that ache I would probably take it ....