musings of Kimiko Karpoff - Talking to God
First Breath
Gracious and Holy God
Your kingdom is like the first breath of a baby
a cry of life so tender it calls me to my best humanity
causes my milk to drop, nearly bursting my heart with love and compassion.
You hold your kingdom like a baby
and I am part of it
I hold my baby like your kingdom
knowing he embodies all possibility and my call is to nurture his sacred self.
We are immersed in the enigma of holding and held
nurturer and nurtured, mother and mothered,
love-er and loved
an infinite inter-twining of loving hands. Amen.
March 17, 2014
~
Garden Inner Soul
My Lovely
You delight me.
As I recognize the glimpse I've caught of you, I feel my body blossom into a smile.
Just that and the dark weight slides away.
I anticipate the embrace. The pressure of your warmth along my whole body. Your breath brushing along my skin.
I imagine you in the garden. Is it Eden? The symphony of smells on the warm air entice me -- fruit and flowers, herbs and the pungeant, rich soil.
Your beautiful hands that shaped me are creased with dust, bits of me and the rest of creation. The water flowing out from this place flows also through me.
It is good to be back here with you. In the garden of my inner soul.
February 20, 2013
~
Tree - us or God?
I'm reaching for you, God
with my heart and mind
as leaves fall, yellow and orange
as branches bare
remains the tree, naked and sturdy
patient
God, are we called to be like the tree
waiting for spring through our inevitable winters?
Or are you the tree, steadfast for we, the flighty leaves?
Roots deep, withstanding the coldest frost, keeping our core alive for that moment of shift when the sun is suddenly warm and we bud anew.
September 18, 2011
~
Not the Words
It's not the words, it's the other stuff
It's the way I can't help but smile when I think of you
It's feeling comfortable, held, contained
It's knowing I am free to be me
It's being challenged to go beyond
It's to be emptied and filled with the holy
October 17, 2011
~
Wind of Life
It was the wind that brought me back to life, back to the sureness of You
To feel creation blowing against my skin
the gift of release from walls and roofs, relief from constant shelter from you
God created,
You created out of chaos with wind, with voice, with dance.
We pretend we are not part of the rhythm, not part of the blowing about
We box ourselves in houses, in shops, in cars and churches,
dashing from door to door and avoiding the falling water
the continuing dance
Creator and Creating God
I knew I was alive with you
when I felt the wind blow with the prickly sureness of goose-bumped skin
November 12, 2011
~
Ancient Light and New
God, I call you creator. But what is your true name? to me.
You are the spaces between the threads, the threads and the whole cloth. You are the wrapping around and the hanging on the wall.
You are the energy that is all things.
Today on the radio they talked about a star that is visible in our night sky that is 3000 light years away. What we see now is light that existed when the ancient Israelites had a king. When Egypt was (relatively) young.
You are both ancient light and new. We see you, feel you from millions of years ago. And just yesterday.
The summer night is you, God, warmth in the darkness.
You are my breathe.
July 8, 2010
~
God in the Quiet
As I quiet my mind, you rise
and fall, breathing
each other
is it with each other
or are we inseparable?
It's the quiet I seek
only one square inch and me in the middle
Did you know it doesn't exist?
Not naturally
ha
it is not the natural but the manufactured that shatters the quiet.
Just think, all that innovation and all humans have managed is noise.
We've drowned ourselves in it.
God I strain to hear you about the racket
But even my straining is loud
*
Pause. exhale.
I quiet my mind to allow you to rise
the miracle of yeast and sun
and soft and warm
and you
and I am sustained
December 7, 2010
~
Behind My Eyes
behind my eyes
the glow of darkness
behind my mouth
silent words
ears perk toward the quiet
toward the thrum of you, God
you swim against my skin
i suck you in
June 2, 2009
~
Leaf in Stream
God, you have made me what I always dreamed, in ways I never imagined.
I'm like a leaf in the stream, longing for adventure before noticing I'm on one
looking past my companions for people to call friends
waiting to be called rather than reaching out and grasping what's right there
I am the leaf not recognizing the water, not recognizing you in the water
in the surprising damp of fog mists
nor the pre-dawn dew
nor the soft rain of summer
nor ardent rain of autumn
nor snow melting down my skin
nor puddles
nor this stream, a culmination of them all
only now am I starting to remember
and feel you drift me
February 1, 2009
~
Unbeckoned
Holy Mystery
You come unbeckoned
You know, and are here
I turn and catch the edge of your radiance
with the corner of my eye
How do you do that?
How do you pull that tar-like dis-ease from inside me?
How do you smooth it into the soothing shadow of the night sky?
When I look out there, I know that you are possible
although I don't know what I mean by that
You are right here
Right where I did not cry out for you
Right where I did not reach for you
Except with the deepest longing of myself
April 22, 2007
Gracious and Holy God
Your kingdom is like the first breath of a baby
a cry of life so tender it calls me to my best humanity
causes my milk to drop, nearly bursting my heart with love and compassion.
You hold your kingdom like a baby
and I am part of it
I hold my baby like your kingdom
knowing he embodies all possibility and my call is to nurture his sacred self.
We are immersed in the enigma of holding and held
nurturer and nurtured, mother and mothered,
love-er and loved
an infinite inter-twining of loving hands. Amen.
March 17, 2014
~
Garden Inner Soul
My Lovely
You delight me.
As I recognize the glimpse I've caught of you, I feel my body blossom into a smile.
Just that and the dark weight slides away.
I anticipate the embrace. The pressure of your warmth along my whole body. Your breath brushing along my skin.
I imagine you in the garden. Is it Eden? The symphony of smells on the warm air entice me -- fruit and flowers, herbs and the pungeant, rich soil.
Your beautiful hands that shaped me are creased with dust, bits of me and the rest of creation. The water flowing out from this place flows also through me.
It is good to be back here with you. In the garden of my inner soul.
February 20, 2013
~
Tree - us or God?
I'm reaching for you, God
with my heart and mind
as leaves fall, yellow and orange
as branches bare
remains the tree, naked and sturdy
patient
God, are we called to be like the tree
waiting for spring through our inevitable winters?
Or are you the tree, steadfast for we, the flighty leaves?
Roots deep, withstanding the coldest frost, keeping our core alive for that moment of shift when the sun is suddenly warm and we bud anew.
September 18, 2011
~
Not the Words
It's not the words, it's the other stuff
It's the way I can't help but smile when I think of you
It's feeling comfortable, held, contained
It's knowing I am free to be me
It's being challenged to go beyond
It's to be emptied and filled with the holy
October 17, 2011
~
Wind of Life
It was the wind that brought me back to life, back to the sureness of You
To feel creation blowing against my skin
the gift of release from walls and roofs, relief from constant shelter from you
God created,
You created out of chaos with wind, with voice, with dance.
We pretend we are not part of the rhythm, not part of the blowing about
We box ourselves in houses, in shops, in cars and churches,
dashing from door to door and avoiding the falling water
the continuing dance
Creator and Creating God
I knew I was alive with you
when I felt the wind blow with the prickly sureness of goose-bumped skin
November 12, 2011
~
Ancient Light and New
God, I call you creator. But what is your true name? to me.
You are the spaces between the threads, the threads and the whole cloth. You are the wrapping around and the hanging on the wall.
You are the energy that is all things.
Today on the radio they talked about a star that is visible in our night sky that is 3000 light years away. What we see now is light that existed when the ancient Israelites had a king. When Egypt was (relatively) young.
You are both ancient light and new. We see you, feel you from millions of years ago. And just yesterday.
The summer night is you, God, warmth in the darkness.
You are my breathe.
July 8, 2010
~
God in the Quiet
As I quiet my mind, you rise
and fall, breathing
each other
is it with each other
or are we inseparable?
It's the quiet I seek
only one square inch and me in the middle
Did you know it doesn't exist?
Not naturally
ha
it is not the natural but the manufactured that shatters the quiet.
Just think, all that innovation and all humans have managed is noise.
We've drowned ourselves in it.
God I strain to hear you about the racket
But even my straining is loud
*
Pause. exhale.
I quiet my mind to allow you to rise
the miracle of yeast and sun
and soft and warm
and you
and I am sustained
December 7, 2010
~
Behind My Eyes
behind my eyes
the glow of darkness
behind my mouth
silent words
ears perk toward the quiet
toward the thrum of you, God
you swim against my skin
i suck you in
June 2, 2009
~
Leaf in Stream
God, you have made me what I always dreamed, in ways I never imagined.
I'm like a leaf in the stream, longing for adventure before noticing I'm on one
looking past my companions for people to call friends
waiting to be called rather than reaching out and grasping what's right there
I am the leaf not recognizing the water, not recognizing you in the water
in the surprising damp of fog mists
nor the pre-dawn dew
nor the soft rain of summer
nor ardent rain of autumn
nor snow melting down my skin
nor puddles
nor this stream, a culmination of them all
only now am I starting to remember
and feel you drift me
February 1, 2009
~
Unbeckoned
Holy Mystery
You come unbeckoned
You know, and are here
I turn and catch the edge of your radiance
with the corner of my eye
How do you do that?
How do you pull that tar-like dis-ease from inside me?
How do you smooth it into the soothing shadow of the night sky?
When I look out there, I know that you are possible
although I don't know what I mean by that
You are right here
Right where I did not cry out for you
Right where I did not reach for you
Except with the deepest longing of myself
April 22, 2007
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